Men and Their Compliments

When you're with your girlfriends you tend to brush away flattery or compliments they give you - it's the normal thing to do. But, do that to a guy? It actually ticks him off quite a bit. Cosmopolitan writer Streeter Seidell discusses the matter in his article "Why Can't You Just Accept a Compliment?" in the June 2011 issue of Cosmopolitan.

Men like to brag - especially with other guys around - it's what they do. Most of the time it's boasting about one's self. That's why when it coming to complimenting a girl that gets a little messy. Women tend to brush away compliments and to men, its mystifying and, well, annoying. Seidell even states that it's "completely off-putting" and that men actually hate it.

What They Really Hear :
When you bat down guys' compliments it creates an awkward, uncomfortable moment for them. Every time you brush off the guy's compliment, they don't really know how to respond or react to what just happened. They either try to keep complimenting you (with you just brush it off continually) or actually agree with what you're saying. So, it's a lose-lose situation for them. In fact, this sort of conversation tells guys to stop praising you. But more importantly, the more you brush it off the more guys will actually agree with what you're saying - ek! That is the real problem there! So, by not accepting the initial compliment, it changes a guy's perception of you from amazing to...ordinary....and maybe even boring...

Brag More, Please! : 
Seidell states, "There's nothing as sexy as hearing a woman boost herself up, even if she's saying something as unsexy sounding as 'I just owned that parallel-parking job' ". It also makes the guy feel good about themselves when you accept their compliment - so ditch that brushing off habit when you're with a guy. The truth is, guys are pretty truthful in their compliments - or they wouldn't really be saying it. "So when we say it, we really mean it...and we want you to know it" - Seidell.


**Information from June 2011 Cosmopolitan, article "Why Can't You Just Accept a Compliment?" By Streeter Seidell,  page 72**

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After reading this article, I thought to myself has this really ever happened to me? Oh yeah, it has. And now I really understand what the writer meant when he said "awkward, uncomfortable moment". If I had know this back then, I could have avoided so many awkward moments. Lesson Learned! Hopefully, you can use this information with someone who you've been crushing on :)

Love, 

ALPHA