Love Styles

In an article entitled "Decode Your Love Style" in the June 2011 issue of Cosmopolitan, it states that researchers at Columbia University believe that people tend to be one of three romantic types - anxious, avoidant, and secure. All three types are based on a well-respected form of personality assessment called attachment theory. The type of love style you are could influence everything from how you communicate with your partner to what your biggest relationship fear is. So here's where to discover which love style you are:

Love Style #1 - Anxious

• You like your PDA - anything and everywhere!
• Generally, you forgive people easily.
• You tend to take your guy's side in an argument with friends to seem supportive (even if you don't agree)
• You're the peacemaker of the relationship and you hate fighting!
• You're easily jealous when a girl other chicks talk to your guy - even on facebook!
• His birthday is in months, but you already have everything planned and ready!

You're the kind of person who goes out of her way to make her partner feel appreciated and cared for. You love intimacy and you will do anything to keep it in your life. Even though you may treat your half wonderfully, you expect to be treated that way in return! You often tend to focus on details, and when your guy doesn't reciprocate you feel horrible. How to fix it: talk to your guy, tell him how you feel  and what your needs are. 

Signs He's The Anxious Type

- He regularly writes love notes on your facebook wall

- Super jealous and accuses you of flirting with other guys

- He tears up at a sad movie

- After a fight, he's sad for a couple of days

- When out with friends, he texts you to check up on you

Love Style #2 - Avoidant

• You go out with your girlfriends a lot more that being with your man
• You think that texting a guy constantly is a little annoying
• You do love being in a relationship but you don't necessarily need one to be happy
• You're attracted to guys who have different hobbies and interests as you. 
• You never snoop through your boyfriends e-mails or phone.
• You've taken the "relationship status" information off of facebook because that's private to only you!

You're independent; you like calling the shots and doing things your way. Relationships scare you a little bit because you're worried that by being committed to someone you might loose your independence. Of course you love your guy and miss him while he's away, but you might purposely create distance from him when you feel overwhelmed or you cant stick to your own agenda. When you find the one, there's a struggle to have balance between him and yourself. You mainly believe that in relationships, its two individuals who maintain their own lives and create another one together. However, try not to exclude him! Force yourself to talk to your guy and let him help you - listen to him and compromise! 

Signs He's The Avoidant Type

-He gets freaked out when you mention the 'future'

- It's not weird to go a day or two without hearing from him

- When he introduces you to people he knows, they've probably never heard of you

- If you're spending the night together, its kinda at yours (never his)

- He uses the words I and me more often than we or us.

Love Style #3 - Secure

• People go to you for relationship advice and help
• Problems with you and your man hardly bother you because you know it'll end quickly.
• You've had an assortment of relationship (flings and long term) since you started dating
• You and your guy switch off picking what to do and you're open to what he wants to do
• You're still friends with a lot of your exes
• You don't mind him being friends with his exes. 

As a secure person, you are even keeled and emotionally available and have faith that love can last. You are comfortable with who you are and you don't think love has to be dramatic or difficult. If you have problems, it easy to work them out without all hell breaking loose because you know it'll be worked out in the end. However, being a secure person can affect anxious partners. So, we compassionate and understanding to their needs. But, guys are attracted to your chill personality which allows your guy to maintain a sense of independence (which guys love). If there are problems, present it and let him know what's going on, he'll most likely give it to you. 

Signs He's The Secure Type

-You know you can go to him with any type of problem and he'll actually help you

-He almost always calls when he says he will

-He's usually comfortable telling you how he feels

-He understands when your stressed and suggests spending time with your friends

-When you fight, he doesn't resort to low blows or storms out on you

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Hopefully these tips helped you discover who you are as a 'lover' and help you understand your partner. 

Love,

ALPHA