Honestly?

Every once in awhile people that I kind of know always ask me when I leave for school in the fall. I boldly state, "I leave at the end of the month. I'm so excited!" and then it strikes me that by leaving home, I won't get to see my parents for a while. And then I start to think how important my family is to me and how much they mean to me.

Just like a lot of children out there, I've always wanted to please my parents and make them proud. And when I mess up and do something stupid, I feel guilty and stupid - but the worst thing I do though...is not tell them about it. Even when it's something minor like breaking the vacuum machine or staying out past curfew, there's still a burden I bear and I just can't shake it off. Honesty is so important in basically every relationship you have -  but especially relationships where you love the person.

Being honest can get you saved from a whole lot of shit. I'm mostly talking about honesty with family members. Telling your parents or siblings what you did and not hide it, may get you in trouble but at least you don't feel like crap! And the longer you hide it the worse it becomes, and it's even worse if they find out on their own! For example, one time I got caught with alcohol and instead of telling them straight up it was mine I made this huge story and my parents totally discovered the truth - yeah, I was in trouble. Not really for the alcohol, but more that I lied to them. Next example, I got a speeding ticket - yeah, I'm a great daughter I know. That night though, instead of hiding it within me, I sought the advice of my sisters asking them what I should do. Of course, my sister told me that I should immediately sit my mother down and explain what happened. She also said if I didn't do that she would tell on me. So, the next morning I went to my mother when she was in a good mood and sat down and told her. She didn't really get mad, a little upset of my lack of driving ability, but I wasn't in trouble. Actually, recently she told me how proud she was that I talked to my sister as well as told her immediately. 

Basically, being honest is better than lying about major things to your parents and family. You've probably seen all those kiddie stories about not to lie and, yeah, they are really true. I mean you feel better, your family feels better-ish. It may be hard to confront your family but here's what I've learned from mine. First, seek advice from a family member your close with (or a friend with good family relationships if you're an only child) so for me this was my sisters. They'll tell you how to approach your parent or guardian and might be able to help you and support you. Second, I always go for the "kinder" "push-over" parent - in most situations it's my mother. I'm a typical girl who is a little afraid of her dad when he's angry. My mother on the other hand, she may be mad but she always seems to keep her composure. Instead of getting yelled at, I just get to feel totally guilty and disappointing. (But then she feels bad for me and it ends in hugs and kisses). 

Honesty brings you closer to those you love. It's basically not keeping secrets and being open with the person which is extremely healthy. Lesson Learned. 

Love, 

ALPHA