Sexpectations

Are we expecting too much from our partners? Whether it's physically or emotionally  - do we crave that amazing sex which results in multiple orgasms or the perfect relationship with never ending love. Can we have both, or can we have any part of that at all...or are we expecting way to much in men nowadays?

I love the characters James Marsden plays.
They are totally my ideal men!

I feel like today we set such high standards of what kind of men we want to have in our lives. Based on movies, television shows, and books we paint this ideal picture of the man that we want to be with and the men in our present lives just can't make the cut. So rather than be with a semi-acceptable guy who fits some parts of your standards, we tend to be alone and continue to wait and seek out 'the one'. Is this healthy? Are we being crazy to have such high expectations?

The thing is, I know we shouldn't be picky. I mean a guy with great, handsome looks with a wonderful, amazing personality and who wants to be a fantastic boyfriend is pretty rare (let's face it!). And so we are told to go for maybe not the best looking men - the short ones, the little chubby ones, the one with a huge mole on his face - who apparently have these great personalities. Well some do, but some are just as douchey as the hot ones. So what do we do now? Is it wrong to try to have the ideal man or should we just lower our standards?

And that goes for sex too! What if the guy is totally perfect...but not so much a good kisser or there are multiple problems in bed? Should we just deal with it...would we be considered a bitch if we want a good bang? But, if we stay with the great emotional guy, would we miss our chance of finding the guy with the great physical and emotional capability? Let's face it, sex is important! I mean, there needs to be a physical, sexual connection - we are mammals with primary needs you know. I hate to sound like a snob, but if a guy is a bad kisser...no matter how nice the guy is I don't really want to be more than friends with him...is it a crime that I want both? I certainly don't think so!

I bet many girls would kill to be with
Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character Tom
from (500) Days of Summer

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit harsh on the sex aspect. Some guys just aren't really good at sex. What should we do? Well, if your guy is willing there's always a way to try to teach your guy - just read any Cosmopolitan! But, I feel like we always expect guys to be good at sex - weird right? I mean they might think they're good but I bet they could learn a thing or two. And don't be afraid to try and change it! So maybe don't dump a guy too fast if he's horrible in bed - try to fix it...but if he wont budge maybe that's a relationship worth ending. Like I said, sex is important - sometimes you just need to be fucked hard.

I guess the downside of being too picky would be that I probably will be single more. In South America there is a saying, "Better alone than badly accompanied" which is so true right! I'd rather be happy with myself than pretending to be happy in a relationship I can't stand. Having said that I know there is a slim chance that I will meet a guy that will live up to my standards. But, I believe that when I do meet the man that I fall madly in love with, he won't be perfect because, well, perfect can be boring and this guy will probably be something I could have never imagined. (At least I hope so!)

So, should we maintain our standards? Adjust? Lower? Or simply just wait it out? I guess we just have to open ourselves to what's out there.

Love,
ALPHA