The Positive Perspectives

We, Alphas, have had our fair share or difficult people and relationships. One of the things I find the most interesting in high school is how many friends you go through. You'll have that one or two friends that you stay with until senior year but for sure, your group of friends will change. Some will become "enemies", some become ex-boyfriends and some just become acquaintances.

High school is a time for change. I believe in embracing that change and taking something out of every relationship you encounter. This is one of my favorite quotes that I got from a friend of mine:

If all was going your way all the time, you would become a spoiled child, wouldn't everyone? Difficult people are just one of the ways God teaches us to expand beyond our egos and accept other perspectives on life.

After hearing that, I actually less bitched about things I could not change anymore. If you can't change that person, change yourself.

The "Enemy": There was one girl in high school, who for some reason was no longer my friend at the end of senior year. We used to joke around but at the end, I felt she had this grudge against me and we no longer said our hellos. In high school, get ready for those "she said-he said" fights. All talk but no action, the most frustrating ones. Rumors circulated and I got frustrated at the idea that she may have been telling her other friends bad things about me. I had my rants but in the end I asked myself: What can I learn from this? I believe that there are people that talk shit about you because they feel bad about themselves and its their defense mechanism. The solution to this, is ignore her. She won't be in your life forever, if she really is talking shit about you confront her but take the highroad! Don't stoop down to her level, because then you are not any better. Make her feel guilty that she is acting childish without really saying it bluntly.

The Ex: I'm sure everyone has gone though the hating, the awkwardness and feeling like you've wasted your time with an ex boyfriend. I never really had one but there were many crushes and two that became more than friends. As I think back in each, I've learned something in all. For one of them, I became more of a risk taker - he taught me how to be confident, be more flirtatious and well I considered him my first kiss. My second one, was more long term. It ended the way I didn't expect to, since it was senior year. But he taught me to seize the moment. Enjoy everything and don't think so hard. Also, that friends make the best company. Friends to more than friends makes it less complicated - he knows how to make you laugh, your favorite things, helps you unconditionally, and the best part; sweet/go for your needs first (physically and emotionally). He showed me the qualities that I believe are important and will try to find in the next one.

So don't rely on the bad things, each relationship has something to teach you. Take it from Carrie Bradshaw, she makes a living in saying all that her relationships taught her.

 

The Acquaintance: These are friends that used to be your friends but for some reason you've drifted. Or these are people that you are only friends with short term because you found some common interest. Either way, they have taught you something along the way. For me, I felt that these acquaintances show you that you can make friends with all sorts of people and find confidence in talking about yourself to a whole new group. They give you a different perspective and a risk taking feeling then your usual norm. In my sophomore year, I was friends with at least 4 different groups - one being this totally Asian group. We went karaoke, played basketball, watched scary movies, and spoke Chinese. They were all older than me and I don't even talk to any of them anymore. But they were great while it lasted. Immerse yourself in different environments, even if its only for a short while!

Don't linger in sadness or frustration for long, its high school! Friends will leave and come - just be open to all those possibilities!

Have you encountered any of these people? What did you do about it?

Love,

ALPHA