お墓参り: Ohaka Mairi

In Japan, around mid-august is know as the Obon Holiday. This is a time when you visit your ancestors and they visit you. At one point during the holiday, you are suppose to visit the graves of your ancestors - this is ohaka mairi (Ohaka means grave, and mairi means to visit). This is a part of the Buddhist (well Japanese Buddhist) religion. And it is basically to clean the grave and pay respects to your family. The grave that my family goes to is for my Japanese Grandfather.

There is actually a lot to clean in Japanese graves. Unlike the Western way of burial, the Japanese are often cremated and then their ashes are then placed in the stone graves. These graves look like they have their own house because they are clearly separated from other graves. Well, this area is often filled with stone, gravel, or dirt. So, the first thing to do is weed.

After you are done with the base, you move to the actual grave. You brush and wipe down the dirt and moss merely with water, sponges and brushes. When everything is clean, you do all the classic ritual things. First you place the flowers (they are usually colorful and the specific ones can often be bought in supermarkets during this season). Then, incense (osenko) is lit. Anything that your ancestor liked can also be placed on the little alter, such as sake (rice wine) and beer - those are the more common ones that I've seen.

When the preparation and cleaning of the grave is done, each family member usually goes in front of the grave and prays. If you are Buddhist, you often have a set of rosary beads (juzu) with you. The prayer is one of thanks, and asking for luck of the family. I've been doing this since I was a little girl - like when I was five. I still remember going for the first time and being paralyzed when it came to the point of praying. Being a Christian, I knew that this was a different religion and tradition. I didn't really know what to do, I looked at my sister with a confused face and she read my questions right off of it. She told me that I just had to pray, it didn't matter to whom, just get in front of the grave and pray about my Grandfather.



Although I never knew my Japanese Grandfather, he died the same year I was born, I like how there is a time every year to go visit and take care of him. I mean besides Memorial Day in America, I don't often see people visit their loved ones in graveyards. I always have a sense that going to graveyards in America is depressing and its like always raining. For some reason though, it may just be the vivid flowers, but visiting graves in Japan isn't sad or scary, it's like a little celebration - besides the cleaning.

My Grandfather's grave on the right.

Love,
ALPHA