Love Cycles

In my four years at Japan, I have seen a fair share of make ups and break ups, and I always thought to myself, aren't we all just basically living the same relationship? Are we not all the same couples that get together, fight together, break up together, and fight for each other at the end?


When I speculate the many relationships I've seen, I've noticed a pattern of four when a guy break's up with a girl. It may only be in my high school, but I thought I would share it with you all and hopefully you could comment and tell me if you see this as well!


1. Boys are the Chasers 
The first pattern of the typical love cycle is that the guys do the chasing. I mean come on, the girls are obviously prettier and were pretty lazy, we can't help it. We see her laughing, talking with her friends, checking her phone if the he will call her or not. We see her smile every time he looks at her in the hall way, and we see him back space on his key board contemplating what to say to her on chat. He wonders whether he should call her, text her, or ask her on a date. But then he thinks to himself "Am i being too forward?"or "what if she thinks were only friends?" He goes crazy at this stage wondering whether the she likes him or not when in actuality the she's just playing hard to get and waiting for the him to make his move.


When he finally asks her out, she's still pretty reserved as he takes her to a movie and puts his arm around her, when he holds her hand for the first time, and goes crazy when she doesn't kiss him on the first date. She loves it when he mails her first telling her that he loved the date and wants to do it again, that being with her was the best feeling ever, and that she's the prettiest girl he's ever seen when we know he's sugar coating it.


When the big guns come out, and he says I love you, her feelings start to progress as much as his. Even though she still has the reigns on the relationship, she starts to feel deeper, love him more, and get infatuated. Is he thinking about me? Does he still love me? Wonder why he's not mailing me.


2. Switching Roles


Ah, this is the stage that I fear the most, when the girl becomes the pauper and the guy becomes the prince. When the girl finally admits to herself that she's fallen head over heels for him, he's definitely gotten control.  When your relationships starts to progress from a couple of weeks to a couple of months and arguments become fights, when you start to nag the guy more, and get more insecure, he's the one that starts getting angry, he's the one that doesn't pick up the phones, and he's the one that wants more time with his friends. What does she do? She goes crazy! From infatuation it soon becomes psychotic. Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but she definitely starts to call more, text more, say sorry for everything, and gets more insecure. The tears roll down her face as she tells him he's not treating her right, hes not spending as much time with her. Boys are boys and even though it seemed like they were putting a lot of effort and they were chasing at first, it seems like your doing all the work at this stage. Although fights can get worse and things can be more complicated than the way I portrayed it, this is the basics.


3. Don't Frown Girlfriend


"We need to talk," is probably the four worst things you can hear from a guy. She realizes that her relationship has just been going down hill and as much as she tries and fights its just never going to work. He breaks up with her and inevitably she is heart broken. She cries, she talks to her parents, she talks to her friends, she looses focus in studies, she doesn't talk very much, she's a mess. She tries to fight it, but she just keeps thinking about him. What should she do? She tries calling the guy asking him to take her back, and he just seems fine about the break up. She calls him heartless and tells him he acts like he doesn't care and she's in an even bigger mess.


4. I Need You Back


When she finally starts to live her own life, finally starts to get better, and realizes she might just be okay, the guy texts her. HE finally in his psychotic brain starts to realize that she's doing fine, and realizes what a jerk and a big mistake he has made. He texts her telling her how he wants her back, what a big mistake hes made, and what a jerk he's been. The typical "I'll do anything for you," "I can't live without you," sayings comes out and now she's just confused. She loves him, but she can't go back. Its not you its me she says.


And from there, things go their own way. I don't really see a distinct pattern for the next part, but what I've experienced is that when he finally starts giving up and realizes he's okay too you wonder if you made the mistake. Tell me if you've seen what I stated above, and things you've seen after the fourth pattern! If I do figure it out, I'll definitely post it up :)


Love,
ALPHA