Break Up DONT'S

The ugly truth is, breakups are the worst,  especially when your in high school. Trust me, I would know I had to go through it. You ask yourself why on top of your nit picky parents, the truckload of work, your social life, and the monday wednesdays and friday's spent on sports or other extra curricular's do you HAVE to deal with a break up. It's hard. It SUCKS and most definitely doesn't take a week or two to get over; but if you learn to deal in the right ways then life could get a lot simpler and you have one less thing  to worry about; an ex. I've seen a lot of girls, even myself, deal with a heart break in the completely wrong ways and I'm hear to WARN YOU about this path you might fall into. It's dangerous, not fun, and definitely doesn't help in the long run! So here are a few break up DONTS that you might find useful

1.  "I'm going to delete him off everything."
Okay ladies, first of all this is definitely not going to work. Deleting him off Skype or Facebook isn't going to make your problems go away. My theory is that you would rather find out on your own than have your friend come up to you and ask you "Did you hear about your ex...?" That is probably the worst feeling in the world. Don't be a stalker but don't NOT snoop, you have to, I mean after all, your his ex.  Not only that, but if you ever feel that someday you might end up friends deleting him makes it seem to him that friends isn't an option. Personally, I've deleted my ex probably a thousand times contemplating whether I should add him or not. I always hear things from other people and instead of hearing it from other people, I'd rather prepare myself for the worst by figuring it out on my own. Not only that but in the end when you look back on your relationship together you can't deny that there weren't good times and even if he's not your boyfriend, trust me having him as a friend is good enough.

2. "What's there in the fridge?" / "Not Hungry
Eating is pleasurable. No doubt. Whether its Ben and Jerry's, a big bag of Doritos nachos, or a bigger portion of your mom's home made dinner's it's always a turn on when you're in a love dilemma. But let me tell you that eating doesn't do any favors as well. Sure its pleasureful in that moment but in the end, you don't want to feel bad about the break up and your self image as well. Don't stoop down that low that to fill your void, you need to eat because your adding fat not happiness.

Not only have I see people EAT their hearts out, but I've seen people not touch food. When your love life has gone out of control, many people feel that the only like aspect of their life they can control is their weight but instead of controlling it, they stop eating. Not only is this unhealthy for you, but it could lead to disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. You might feel that loosing weight is going to make you happy, and if you want do that, start a healthy diet, but not eating will only lead to dark circles, a weak body, and a tired mind. 


3. "Lets go out tonight and get CRUNK"
One of my really good friends just broke up with her boyfriend in the last three months and all she wanted to do was GO OUT and GET CRUNK  (okay, I made this word up. It's getting crazy and drunk in one word) Af course my friend and I said would take her out everywhere but I realized that as much as it's fun for one night, drinking your problem's away doesn't mean their not going to be there in the morning. When you wake up, your just going to realize that you and your boyfriend HAVE broken up and it hasn't changed since you've drank. Unless your going to become an alcoholic which I strongly DO NOT advise, this is not the way to go. Getting CRUNK is a definite NONO. It's not going to help, but damage you emotionally and physically.

4. "He's NOT a rebound"
When my boyfriend and I broke up, I thought that the only way to fill the void of the heart break was by getting attention from another guy. You're so used to being loved and having attention that you could even pick the UGLIEST guy with the weirdest habits and do things that in actuality turn you off. You start living in this fantasy world that your rebound man will make you feel a thousand times better but you end up comparing him to your ex and you realize that your feelings for your ex and your memories aren't going to go away. What I realized was, during those three weeks that yes it was fun and yes i felt special, but I never liked the guy, and in fact I hated some of the things he said and the comments he made. However, all a girl wants to feel is loved and get some kind of attention and he did it. In a few weeks I realized that this wasn't going anywhere and instead of getting myself invested in a relationship I didn't really WANT but just NEEDED wasn't worth it. A lesson worth remembering.

5. "Maybe just one phone call.."
Contrary to the first rule, don't become a stage five clinger. What I'm trying to say is, don't leave your ex a million phone calls, a million messages, and stare him down at school. He's going to feel creeped out, uncomfortable and it might just push him to realize that he in fact made the right decision because his ex is a PSYCHO. If he is showing you that he can live life without being in contact with you, you need to do the SAME.


We all have to deal with break ups at some point. As much as it hurts, I realized that the best thing you can do is to simply  fill up your time. Be with your friends, plan events with your family, focus on school work,  and work harder at sports. Go out once in a while clubbing or dancing, drink a few drinks and go out to dinners. Don't do the extremes and don't sit at home feeling sorry for yourself. Get your butt back up and LIVE LIFE. There are always going to be guys out there for you and even though you may not feel it right now, keep a smile on your face. You will soon enough realize that you do not need a guy to rock your world, and you will realize that you can do it on your own and you will SURVIVE.


Love,
ALPHA