Foreplay Kissing Techniques

Tease him with soft pecks. Just as a runner needs to stretch before a race, your bod requires an equally strategic warm-up before launching into full-throttle passion. Ease him into the pleasure zone, gradually increasing his arousal. The slower the buildup, the bigger the bang.

• •Give him little pecks all over his face — everywhere except the lips. As his excitement grows, trace the outline of his mouth with the tip of your tongue. 
• •Move on to open-mouth puckers, but no tongue allowed.The point is to be playful and work him into a desire-filled frenzy by not giving him exactly what he wants.
• •Add some playfulness into the mix by gently sucking and lightly nibbling on his lower lip every now and then.

Love,

ALPHA

Non-Verbal Flirting - Gestures

Gestures
As well as overall body posture, the gestures we use can signal interest, attraction and invitation – or discomfort, dislike and rejection.

When flirting, it is important to be aware of these non-verbal cues, both in 'reading' your partner's body-language and in controlling the messages you are sending with your own gestures.

In conversation, gestures are mainly used to enliven, clarify and 'punctuate' our speech, or to show responsiveness to what the other person is saying. In a flirtatious encounter, the amount of gesticulation, the directions of the gestures and the co-ordination of gestures can indicate the degree of interest and involvement your partner feels towards you.

Different cultures vary widely in the amount of gesticulation that accompanies their speech (Italians say that you can silence an Italian by tying his hands behind his back), and even within a single culture, some people naturally express themselves more through gestures than others. Generally, however, someone who is interested in you will be more lively and animated in conversation, using more gestures when speaking in order to keep your attention, and more responsive gestures to show interest when you are speaking.

Similarly, you can signal interest in your partner, and keep his/her attention focused on you, by enhancing your speech with appropriate gestures: shifting your hands or head slightly at the end of sentences, using downward hand movements to emphasise a point, 'projecting' what you are saying towards your partner by open-palm hand movements and so on. When your partner is speaking, you can show responsiveness by nodding in agreement, throwing up your hands in surprise, bringing them together in a 'silent clap' of appreciation, etc.

Researchers have found that nodding can be used to 'regulate' conversations. If you make single, brief nods while your partner is speaking, these act as simple signs of attentiveness, which will maintain the flow of communication from the speaker. Double nods will change the rate at which the other person speaks, usually speeding up the flow, while triple nods or single, slow nods often interrupt the flow altogether, confusing speakers so much that they stop in their tracks. So, if you want to express interest and keep your partner chatting with you, stick to brief single nods.

You can also watch for gestures which indicate anxiety and nervousness, such as hand-clasping movements and palm-rubbing. As a general rule, anxious gestures are directed towards the anxious person's own body (known as 'proximal' movements), while 'distal' movements, directed away from the body, are a sign of confidence. As well as watching for these signals in your partner, you can control the impression you are making by using more confident, 'distal' gestures.

As with posture, the greatest involvement and harmony is achieved when gestures are synchronised – when the movements of one person are echoed or reflected by the other. You may have noticed that this tends to happen naturally between people who like each other and get on well together. Watch pairs of lovers in a bar or pub, and you will see that they often tend to lift their drinks and take a sip at the same time, and that many of their other body movements and gestures will be similarly synchronised. Psychologists call this 'interactional synchrony' or 'gestural dance', and some of their research findings indicate that the timing of matched gestures may be accurate down to fractions of a second.

Although this synchronisation normally happens without conscious effort, you can use it as a highly effective flirting technique. If you feel the conversation is not flowing easily, or you and partner seem awkward and uncomfortable with each other, try to be more sensitive to the patterns of his/her gestures and body movements, and to reflect these in your own body language.

If your partner spontaneously begins to synchronise his/her body language with yours, this is a sign that he/she feels comfortable with you. Men should not assume that it necessarily indicates sexual interest, however. Women can avoid creating this impression by reducing synchronisation, adopting a more 'closed' posture and avoiding the use of gestures which are specifically associated with flirtatious behaviour. In experiments, female hair-flipping and head-tossing were among the (non-contact) gestures most often regarded as sexually flirtatious, along with repeated leg-crossing and movements designed to draw attention to the breasts.

What goes with Gestures? Duh! Facial Expressions :)

Love, 

ALPHA

Sexual Fetishes

Ursusagalmatophilia: People who dress up like animals and call themselves “furries” or “plushies”. Don’t mistake this for zoophilia which is the sexual attraction to animals. There is a large ‘furry scene’ and it’s surprisingly main stream these days. My question is how do you realize you’re into this? Why furry animal costumes?

Domination and submission: Relatively common. In most sexual situations there is one person who likes to be dominated and the other who likes to submit. There are varying statistics on whether more men like to dominate or be dominated. Some people like to play both roles while others can only play one. This is where sexual compatibility comes into play. If you like to be dominated you should date the guy who will buy the riding crop and teach you a lesson. A sexy lesson.

Odaxelagnia: Bite me. Biting and being bitten by your partner is a sexual fetish that has nothing to do with teenage vampires. (Yes there is a blood drinking fetish in case you were wondering.) I find it surprising that biting is regulated to fetishism since I consider it somewhat normal during sex but perhaps that speaks more about me than the fetish. Does that mean that rough sex is a fetish or a preference? Does hair pulling count as a fetish than?

Dacryphilia: A person who gets turned on by tears. So what you’re saying is that all the men who’ve broken my heart are dacryphiliacs? All kidding aside this particular fetish seems to be quite creepy. Who gets off by making someone cry? Steer me clear of these guys.

Lingerie & costumes: Your garden variety fetish. Who doesn’t like a little lingerie and role-playing? I have a love for lingerie, I own tons of it and I wear it nearly every day. So when I date a man who appreciates it all the better. And as for dressing up, that old costume from Halloween when you were the slutty beer wench? Dust it off, put it on and let the role-playing begin.

Erotic Lactation: When a person is sexually aroused from breast-feeding. “Because female breasts and nipples are generally regarded as an important part of sexual activity in most cultures, it is not uncommon that couples may proceed from oral stimulation of the nipples to actual breastfeeding. In lesbian partnerships, mutual breastfeeding has been regarded as a familiar expression of affection and tenderness.” I have no commentary on this except, uh, who knew?

Pogonophilia: The fixation on bearded men. Guilty as charged. I dig facial hair on men. However I think this is more a preference rather than a fetish. I don’t eliminate men that I date based on their facial hair. Also maybe it’s only a fetish if you can’t sleep with a man or get aroused unless he has a beard.

Golden showers: Yes, the act of peeing on or being peed on by your partner. Not to sound judgmental or anything but, gross. Also, what are the mechanics of this? Do you only do it in the shower? I mean how do you clean a mattress after that? By the way those are rhetorical questions.

Well....then...interesting right...?

Love, 

ALPHA

10 Reasons To Have Sex Tonight

The evidence is mounting – sex is good for you, body and soul. Not only does an active sex life provide measurable physical benefits, but it also supports emotional and relational health. Life is full of a million distractions, but there are clear reasons why you should make time to make love.

1. Burn Calories
Sexual intercourse can burn as many as 150 calories every half hour. That’s the equivalent of a brisk jog, and it’s triple what you would burn if you sat couch surfing. If you have sex a few times a week, over the course of a year it’s like running 75 miles.

2. Boost Immunity
An active sex life, whether partnered or solo, also boosts immunoglobulin levels 30 percent compared to those who are abstaining. That means you’ll be better equipped to fight off sickness and disease.

3. Improve Body Image
Most adults are dissatisfied with their bodies, but sex can be an affirming and empowering way to reclaim a positive body image. It doesn’t matter your age, shape, size or physical limitations – if you have a body, you can experience sexual pleasure.

4. Relieve Pain
Have a headache? All the more reason to have sex. In one study, 60 percent of women reported that sex lessened their pain – about the same effectiveness as taking popular medications. Sex and orgasms increase the level of endorphins in your bloodstream, which may alleviate PMS symptoms and arthritis as well.

5. Improve Heart Health
A study published in the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Healthreported that men who have sex at least twice a week cut their risk of a fatal heart attack by 50 percent when compared to men who have sex less than once a month.

6. Reduce the Risk of Prostate Cancer
The American Medical Association has reported that men in their 20s who have five or more ejaculations per week cut their risk of prostate cancer by a third when compared to men with less frequent ejaculations.

7. Strengthen Pelvic Floor Muscles
The adage “Use it or lose it” comes into play here. Sexual activity exercises the pelvic floor muscles, and better muscle tone increases pleasure and decreases your odds of developing incontinence later in life. This is true for men and women

8. De-Stress
An active sex life also helps to lower blood pressure and decrease stress. According to a study published in Biological Psychology, people who enjoyed frequent intercourse managed stress better than those who were abstaining or were engaging in other forms of sexual behaviors.

9. Increase Intimacy
Sexual arousal and orgasm result in increased levels of oxytocin, the “cuddle chemical” or “love hormone” that is known to support feelings of bonding and trust. Some research has shown that it also leads to increased generosity.

10. Get Better Sleep
The release of oxytocin has a calming, soothing effect and has been shown to promote sleep. To get an even better rest, incorporate meditative practices and sensual massage into your sexual encounters.

Love,

ALPHA

Non-Verbal Flirting - Posture

Posture
Most of us are quite good at controlling our faces – maintaining an expression of polite interest, for example, when we are really bored to tears, or even nodding when we really disagree! But we tend to be less conscious of what the rest of our body is doing. We may be smiling and nodding, but unconsciously revealing our disagreement by a tense posture with tightly folded arms. This is known as 'non-verbal leakage': while we're busy controlling our words and faces, our real feelings 'leak out' in our posture.

When flirting, you should therefore watch out for signs of this 'non-verbal leakage' in your partner's posture – and try to send the right signals with your own posture.

Your partner's 'non-verbal leakage' can give you advance warning that your chat-up isn't working. If only his/her head is turned towards you, with the rest of the body oriented in another direction, this is a sign that you do not have your partner's full attention. Even just the feet starting to turn and 'point' away from you can be a sign that his/her attention is directed elsewhere, or that he/she is thinking about moving away. Leaning backwards and supporting the head on one hand are signs of boredom. 'Closed' postures with arms folded and legs tightly crossed indicate disagreement or dislike.

More positive signs to watch out for would be a partner's body oriented towards you, particularly if he/she is also leaning forward, and an 'open' posture. These are signs of attentiveness and interest or liking. Experiments have also shown that females are more likely to tilt their heads to one side when they are interested in the person they are talking to. Men should beware, however, of automatically assuming that these signs indicate sexual interest. Women should be aware of men's tendency to make such assumptions, and avoid signalling interest too obviously.

Another positive sign is what psychologists call 'postural congruence' or 'postural echo': when your partner unconsciously adopts a posture similar to yours. Mirror-image postural echoes – where one person's left side 'matches' the other person's right side – are the strongest indication of harmony and rapport between the pair. If the position of your partner's body and limbs appear to 'echo' or 'mimic' your own, particularly if his/her posture is a mirror image of yours, the chances are that he/she feels an affinity with you.

When flirting, you can also use postural echo to create a feeling of togetherness and harmony. Experiments have shown that although people are not consciously aware of someone deliberately 'echoing' their postures, they will evaluate a person who does this more favourably. If you 'echo' your partner's postures, he/she will not only feel more at ease in your company, but will perceive you as more like-minded.

This technique obviously has its limits. We would not suggest, for example, that a woman in a mini-skirt should 'echo' the open-legged sitting posture of her male companion. But if he is leaning forward with his left forearm resting on the table, she could create a sense of common identity by 'mirroring' this aspect of his posture – leaning forward with her right forearm on the table.

In addition to these 'generic' signals of interest, there are specifically male and female posture signals which are often seen in flirtatious encounters. These tend to be postures which enhance the masculine or dominant appearance of the male, and the femininity of the female. Males may adopt postures which make them appear taller, larger and more impressive, such as placing hands in pockets with elbows out to enlarge the chest, or leaning one hand at above shoulder height on a wall to appear taller and more imposing. Females either adopt postures which make them look smaller, such as drawing the knees towards the body when seated, or postures which draw attention to physical attributes attractive to males, such as arching the back to display the breasts, or crossing and re-crossing the legs to draw attention to them.

Care to read about Gestures? Cause that's the next portion!

Love, 

ALPHA