Lube!

In the past few years, lubricant has become a more common fixture on drugstore shelves, often in the condom aisle. In fact, there’s more lube options than ever before: lube for him, for her, that warm, that tingle or that make your parts taste like strawberry or mint. Unfortunately, lube rarely ever comes with instructions, which leaves many men and women in the dark about how to use lube for better, more pleasurable sex. No worries – I’m here to help! Follow these 4 tips for better lube use during sex:

1. Know what you’re working with. Condoms increase friction during sex, which can make sex feel dry and uncomfortable. That’s why most types of condoms come pre-lubricated. Take a hint from condom manufacturers and add a little extra lube for more comfortable, pleasurable, feels-like-the-real thing sex. Add a small drop of water-based or silicone-based lubricant to the inside tip of the condom and then to your condom-clad penis before having sex.

2. Use lube for foreplay. Flavored lubricant is made for oral sex, but some varieties taste more like cough medicine than yummy sex. I like Climax Fruit Bomb flavors and as far as lubes for fellatio go, the Great Head brand (sometimes sold as Good Head) tastes all right, too. Lube is also good for mutual masturbation or partnered sex toy play.

3. Head for the water. Winding your way into the hot tub, shower or bath? Make sure you bring some silicone based lubricant. After all, warm water dries the vagina, which can make your idealized image of hot shower sex turn meh as you try, uncomfortably, to make it work. Add lube to your penis before you start sex, though, and you’ll be far better situated to have better sex. Just make sure to get it directly on your genitals and hand, as you then apply it to her genitals, being careful not to spill any on the shower floor, which could make the floor way too slippery for days on end.

4. Choose a vagina-friendly lube. Not all lubes are created equal. If your girlfriend or wife is overly sensitive to common ingredients in lubes, choose one that’s been developed with her body in mind. I like Good Clean Love, Just Like Me and Pink, for starters. Some adult bookstores and sex shops sell sampler packs so that couples can experiment and find the lube that works best for them.

To learn more about lubricants, check out Because It Feels Good (which I wrote with better, more interesting sex in mind) and don’t be afraid to expand your lube horizons beyond your local drugstore. Your girlfriend or wife can find a wide variety of lubricants through in-home sex toy parties and sex shops such as Good Vibrations, Babeland, The Pleasure Chest, Early to Bed, Tulip and g boutique sell a wide range of lubricants, too. There’s (at least) one for everyone!

Debby Herbenick, PhD is a sex researcher at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure & Satisfacti

Love, 

ALPHA