Non-Verbal Flirting - Interpersonal Distance

Interpersonal Distance

The distance you keep from the other person when flirting is important, because it will affect his or her impression of you, and the quality of your interaction. Perhaps even more importantly, paying attention to the other person's use of distance will tell you a great deal about his/her reactions and feelings towards you.

When you first approach an attractive stranger, having established at least an indication of mutual interest through eye contact, try to make eye contact again at about 4ft away, before moving any closer. At 4 ft (about two small steps away), you are on the borderline between what are known as the 'social zone' (4 to 12 ft) and the 'personal zone' (18in to 4ft).

If you receive a positive response at 4ft, move in to 'arm's length' (about 2ft 6in). If you try to approach much closer than this, particularly if you try to cross the 18in 'personal zone/intimate zone' border, your target may feel uncomfortable. The 'intimate zone' (less than 18in) is reserved for lovers, family and very close friends. If you are close enough to whisper and be heard, you are probably too close for comfort.

These distance rules apply particularly in face-to-face encounters. We will tolerate reduced interpersonal distances when we are side by side with someone. This is because when you are alongside someone, it is easier to use other aspects of body language, such as turning away or avoiding eye contact, to 'limit' your level of involvement with the other person.

You can therefore approach a bit closer than 'arm's length' if you are alongside your target – at the bar counter of a pub, for example – rather than face-to-face. But be careful to avoid 'intrusive' body-language such as prolonged eye contact or touching.

If you have misjudged the appropriate distance, in either a face-to-face or side-by-side encounter, the other person's discomfort may show in his/her body language. Your target may attempt to turn away or avert his/her gaze to avoid eye contact. You may also see 'barrier signals' such as folded or tightly crossed legs, or rubbing the neck with the elbow pointed towards you. If you see any of these signs, back off!

Finally, remember that different people have different reactions to distance. If your target is from a Mediterranean or Latin American country (known as the 'contact cultures'), he or she may be comfortable with closer distances than a British or Northern European person. North Americans fall somewhere between these two extremes. Different personality-types may also react differently to your approach: extroverts and those who generally feel at ease in company will be comfortable with closer distances than introverts and shy or nervous types. Even the same person may vary in tolerance from day to day, according to mood: when we are feeling depressed or irritable, we find close distances more uncomfortable.

Keep Reading! Posture is the next step!

Love, 

ALPHA

15 Tips to Get in the Mood

1. Watch a “chick flick” together. Snuggle up to each other and kiss long and passionately.

2. Every man and woman want to hear good things about themselves. Even small things that you may think don’t matter can make us feel good. Tell your partner that you appreciate him/her. Even take it a step further and tell your partner what you love about his/her lovemaking techniques.

3. Dress up in black lace or a black silk robe (for men). Undress each other slowly. Dress up as a nurse, police officer, whatever turns your crank. Better yet, meet your partner at a bar and one can “pick up” the other.

4. Dirty Talk! Talking dirty before, during foreplay and sex will get your partner really going. Not your style? Just give it a try – he/she will love it.

5. You don’t need to learn how to pole dance but doing a few sexy strip-tease moves and teasing your partner a little will definitely get him/her excited. 

6. A great way to relieve tension and get in the mood is by massaging your partner. If we are stressed or worried about something, it’s harder to relax and get in the mood. Getting some massage oils and research a few massage techniques that will help her let go of all her worries and be more willing to focus on other things.

7. Build up the romance well before the sex. During the day, send your partner a dirty text message. Tell him/her something that will make them think about what will happen later on tonight.

8. Write a romantic letter for your partner – or even a sexy note – and leave it somewhere you know he’ll find it during the day.

9. Be spontaneous. Nothing beats a fun, spontaneous romp in the sack, hay or wherever you fancy.

10. Strawberries and chocolate – need I say more?

11. Watch an adult film together. It can have a plot line (or not) but there are different “styles” that suit your tastes.

12. Clean the house. Nothing gets a woman in the mood more than seeing her man help out around the house.

13. Share a warm relaxing bath with fabulous bubbles and candles.

14. Make a surprise visit to your partner at work and have a romantic picnic lunch together… Better yet, lock the door and have sex right on his/her desk!

15. Switch things up before the bedroom and in the bedroom. In fact, do something completely different on your date and when you get home, do it somewhere different. If you need a night away, book a hotel for a romantic escape.

Love, 

ALPHA

Non-Verbal Flirting - Eye Contact

When a man and a woman meet for the first time, both are in a difficult, ambiguous and potentially risky situation. Neither person knows what the other's intentions and feelings are. Because stating intentions and feelings verbally involves a high risk of embarrassment or possible rejection, non-verbal behaviour becomes the main channel of communication. Unlike the spoken word, body language can signal invitation, acceptance or refusal without being too obvious, without causing offence or making binding commitments.

Warning: some of the non-verbal flirting techniques outlined in this section are very powerful signals, and should be used with caution. Women should be particularly careful when using signals of interest and attraction. Men already tend to mistake friendliness for flirting; if your signals of interest are too direct and obvious, they will mistake them for sexual availability.

Eye contact
Your eyes are probably your most important flirting tool. We tend to think of our eyes mainly as a means of receiving information, but they are also extremely high-powered transmitters of vital social signals. How you look at another person, meet his or her gaze and look away can make all the difference between a successful, enjoyable flirtation and an embarrassing or hurtful encounter.

Eye contact – looking directly into the eyes of another person – is such a powerful, emotionally loaded act of communication that we normally restrict it to very brief glances. Prolonged eye contact between two people indicates intense emotion, and is either an act of love or an act of hostility. It is so disturbing that in normal social encounters, we avoid eye contacts of more than one second. Among a crowd of strangers in a public setting, eye contacts will generally last only a fraction of second, and most people will avoid making any eye contact at all.

This is very good news for anyone wishing to initiate a flirtation with an attractive stranger. Even from across a crowded room at a party, you can signal your interest in someone merely by making eye contact and attempting to hold your target's gaze for more than one second (not too much more, though, or you will seem threatening). If your target maintains eye contact with you for more than one second, the chances are that he/she might return your interest. If after this initial contact, your target looks away briefly and then looks back to meet your gaze a second time, you can safely assume that he/she is interested. If these eye contacts trigger a smile, you can approach your target with some confidence.

If, on the other hand, your target avoids making eye contact with you, or looks away after a fraction of a second and does not look back again, you should probably assume that your interest is not returned. There is still the possibility that your target is just a very shy person – and some females may be understandably wary of signalling any interest in male strangers. The only way to find out is by close observation of your target's behaviour towards others. Does she consistently avoid direct eye-contact with men? Does he seem nervous, anxious or aloof in his interactions with other women? If so, your target's reluctance to meet your gaze may be nothing personal, and it might be worth approaching, but only with considerable caution.

Once you have approached your target, you will need to make eye contact again in order to strike up a conversation. As soon as your eyes meet, you may begin to speak. Once a conversation begins, it is normal for eye contact to be broken as the speaker looks away. In conversations, the person who is speaking looks away more than the person who is listening, and turn-taking is governed by a characteristic pattern of looking, eye contact and looking away.

So, to signal that you have finished speaking and invite a response, you then look back at your target again. To show interest while your target is speaking, you need to look at his/her face about three-quarters of the time, in glances lasting between one and seven seconds. The person speaking will normally look at you for less than half this time, and direct eye contact will be intermittent, rarely lasting more than one second. When your target has finished speaking, and expects a response, he or she will look at you and make brief eye contact again to indicate that it is your turn.

The basic rules for pleasant conversation are: glance at the other person's face more when you are listening, glance away more when you are speaking and make brief eye contact to initiate turn-taking. The key words here are 'glance' and 'brief': avoid prolonged staring either at the other person or away.

The most common mistake people make when flirting is to overdo the eye contact in a premature attempt to increase intimacy. This only makes the other person feel uncomfortable, and may send misleading signals. Some men also blow their chances by carrying on a conversation with a woman's breasts, rather than looking at her face.

More! More! More!

Love, 

ALPHA

How To Flirt

The first key to successful flirting is not an ability to show off and impress, but the knack of conveying that you like someone. If your 'target' knows that you find him or her interesting and attractive, he or she will be more inclined to like you.

Although this simple fact has been demonstrated in countless studies and experiments, you don't really need scientists to prove it. You already know that when you are told someone fancies you, or hear that someone has praised or admired you, your interest in that person automatically increases – even if it is someone you have never met!

Conveying that you like someone, and judging whether or not the attraction is mutual, clearly involves a combination of verbal and non-verbal communication skills.

When asked about flirting, most people – particularly men – focus on the verbal element: the 'chatting-up', the problems of knowing what to say, finding the right words, etc. In fact, the non-verbal element – body-language, tone of voice, etc. – is much more important, particularly in the initial stages of a flirtation.

When you first meet new people, their initial impression of you will be based 55% on your appearance and body-language, 38% on your style of speaking and only 7% on what you actually say.

Also, their non-verbal signals will tell you much more about their feelings towards you than the words they use. We show attitudes such as liking and disliking not by what we say but by the way we say it and the posture, gestures and expressions that accompany our speech.

The customary polite greeting "pleased to meet you", for example, can convey anything from 'I find you really attractive' to 'I am not the slightest bit interested in you', depending on the tone of voice, facial expression, position and posture of the speaker.

Two important segments are next!
Love,
ALPHA

What His Favorite Sex Position Reveals About Him

A look at the choice of manoeuvres between the sheets is a great tell-tale sign about personality traits, preferences and quirks in your man. Sex therapist and counsellor Simran Chaddha decodes favorite positions and uses them to read into his kinky personality. Here is what his favorite position says about him.


The Missionary Man
Don’t dismiss him as jaded or boring. There is a lot to be said about stability, tenderness and someone who likes to colour within the lines. The body language is devoted towards you and it’s all about looking at you. He maintains eye contact while sharing one of the most intimate experiences one can have. It’s a sign of loyalty and dependability. It could also be a sign of borderline performance anxiety where he wants to constantly be reassured that he’s doing okay by reading your expressions and moves. There is no harm in shaking things up once in a while, so make sure you encourage him to do so.

Doggy Style
As much fun as this is for your man, it doesn’t exactly scream, ‘I love and respect you.’ A fixation towards this move stems from deep-rooted insecurity and confidence issues. The body language is distant, there is no eye contact and expresses a desire to control and feel ‘alpha male.’ He’s a stud more than a metrosexual. On the plus side, he’s open for adventure and will do anything that adds stars to his sexual escapades. Once in a while, it’s fun, but if you find yourself disliking it, then show him who's boss!

The Cowgirl
A lazy lover isn’t exactly a flattering term. If you're always on top, it’s a telling sign that your man has had it easy in life. He is arrogant and as the name suggests, Lazy. He wants things handed to him on a silver platter, including a girl who’ll do all the hard work. There is a deeper strain of lack of motivation and ambition that runs through here.

However, when used in combination with other more inclusive positions, this is a good indicator for playfulness and someone who doesn’t mind handing over the controls once in a while. It is a position that works wonders for the woman and a loving man may encourage it for her optimum pleasure. So if it’s one of his top fives, you have nothing to worry about, he likes showing you a good time. But if it’s his staple move, it’s time he gets off his back.

The Spooner
While it takes a confident man to spoon and caress a woman he loves, it is also an indicator for a possessive personality. In this dominant position, his entire body envelopes you and he is literally all over your body. He likes to claim territory and mark flags all over it. If, on the other hand, he likes to be spooned instead (you’ll be surprised at the number of men who like it after the act), it indicates a needy personality that wants to be taken care of.

There are signs of low self-esteem. Like in all relationships, one goes through phases of emotional highs and lows, which can manifest themselves in the sexual flavour of the month. So it’s important that one doesn’t take these as a rule of law and leaves room to accommodate for an evolutionary process all couples go through.

Love, 

ALPHA

5 Books That Will Make You Want To Have Sex

1. House of Holes: A Book of Raunch By Nicolson Baker

House of Holes s a series of loosely linked stories set in a sexual theme park where rides include “Masturboats” and characters can visit the “Porndecahedron,” a 12-screen planetarium showing nonstop adult films. And those are just the tame attractions at this twisted “happiest place on earth.” Warning: Guests with heart, neck or back problems should not ride!

2. Sugar in my Bowl: Real Women Write About Real Sex  by Erica Jong

This collection of honest essays and stories chronicles every female sexual experience from one-night stands to lovin’ as an octogenarian (that’s anybody aged 80-89).  “Too often people aren't comfortable talking about their sex lives but when they can read about the sex lives of others and see that they are experiencing similar things, it's a huge relief," says Joel D. Block, M.D. a psychologist and sex therapist. Whether you’re craving sex, missing sex, having sex or thinking about sex, Sugar in my Bowl will be eye candy on your nightstand, offer inspiration and provide other-chicks-understand camaraderie for your soul.

3. Dead Until Dark by Charlaine Harris

What can get hotter than a telepathic Southern waitress (who also happens to be a fairy) having her way with a sexy vampire and a smokin’ werewolf? Dead Until Dark  spawned into the HBO series “True Blood” -- where this season’s mantra seemed to be “all naked, all the time.” The raunchiness of these books is one of the few things the TV series stays true to. And for good reason. "People get turned on by the idea of otherworldly creatures having their way with them because there is sort of this 'Well, it was out of my control... I was compelled to do it' fantasy that lets them feel sexually free," says Dr. Block. You'll see what she means when you get to a love scene --  they are the perfect blend of steamy, dirty and a little bit undead.

4. Viscount Breckenridge to the Rescue by Stephanie Laurens

This romantic read is chock full of gorgeous damsels and devastatingly handsome but complicated heroes engaged in all kinds of titillating sexual tension and swashbuckling. Be prepared to be whisked into a world of racy soirees and sexy kidnappers.

5.  Lady Chatterly's Lover by D.H. Lawrence

If you’re looking for a scandalous “classic” to add to your now raunchy collection, this would be it. This Victorian love story -- once deemed vulgar because of its use of, what were at the time, “unprintable words” -- is about an adulterous affair between a sexually unfulfilled upper-class married woman and the game keeper who works for the estate owned by her wheel-chaired husband. 

Love,

ALPHA

5 Types of Condoms For Great Sex

It's a lot of fun to choose the right condom before a steamy love making session. Today there are many varieties of condoms available in the market, from flavored condoms to dotted condoms. It's always safe and feels good to wear condom while having sex.

If you are not on a baby-making mission and want to arouse and stimulate your partner like never before, we list down 5 varieties of condoms for great sex. 

1. Flavored condoms
Such condoms are best for oral sex. They are available in a wide range of flavors such as chocolate, coffee, strawberry, mint, vanilla and many more. If you are using it for vaginal or anal sex, always make sure they are sugar-free in order to avoid yeast infection.

2. Dotted condoms
If you want that extra pleasure this is the right condom for you. Textured or studded condoms are meant for increasing pleasure for both the partners. These condoms have slight bumps that run through the length of the condom on both the sides.

3. Super thin condoms
If you want to use a condom and still get the same kick as condom-free sex, this one will suit you fine. This type of condom is transparent with a thin layer made of sheerlon material that acts like a second skin. It is highly effective against pregnancy and STDs.

4. Pleasure-shaped condoms
This type of condom heightens sensitivity for both the partners. It has loose and enlarged tip.

5. Glow in the dark condoms
If you want to experience kinky sex, this is the right choice. When exposed to light for 30 seconds, it glows in the dark. It is non-toxic and has three layers. The inner and the outermost layers are made up of latex and the middle one contains a safe pigment that makes it glow.

Even with condoms one needs to take precautions. So, next time you are buying one don't forget to check the label if it is FDA approved for use against unplanned pregnancy and STDs.

By Biben Laikhuram

Love,
ALPHA

Who To Flirt With

'Flirting for Fun'
At one level, you can flirt with more or less anyone. An exchange of admiring glances or a bit of light-hearted flirtatious banter can brighten the day, raise self-esteem and strengthen social bonds. Flirtation at this level is harmless fun, and only the stuffiest killjoys could possibly have any objections.

Clearly, it makes sense to exercise a degree of caution with people who are married or attached. Most people in long-term relationships can cope with a bit of admiration, and may even benefit from knowing that others find them or their partners attractive, but couples differ in their tolerance of flirtatious behaviour, and it is important to be alert to signs of discomfort or distress.

Research has also shown that men have a tendency to mistake friendly behaviour for sexual flirting. This is not because they are stupid or deluded, but because they tend to see the world in more sexual terms than women. There is also evidence to suggest that women are naturally more socially skilled than men, better at interpreting people's behaviour and responding appropriately. Indeed, scientists have recently claimed that women have a special 'diplomacy gene' which men lack.

This means that women need to be particularly careful to avoid sending ambiguous signals in interactions with married men, and men need to be aware that married/attached males may misinterpret friendly behaviour towards their wives/girlfriends. Otherwise, light-hearted flirtation is both harmless and enjoyable.

'Flirting with Intent'
But flirting is also an essential element of the mate-selection process, and when you are 'flirting with intent', rather than just 'flirting for fun', you need to be a bit more selective about your choice of target.

In mate-selection flirting, there are two basic rules about who to flirt with that will increase your chances of success and reduce the likelihood of embarrassing rejections.

1. Do initiate flirtation with people of roughly the same level of attractiveness as yourself?
This will give you the best chance of compatability. Most successful marriages and long-term relationships are between partners of more or less equal good looks. There is some leeway, of course, and other qualities are also important, but statistically, relationships where one partner is much more attractive than the other tend to be less successful. Studies have shown that the more evenly matched partners are in their attractiveness, the more likely they are to stay together.

But evaluating your own attractiveness may be difficult. Research has shown that many women have a poor body-image, and often underestimate their attractiveness. Some recent studies indicate, for example, that up to 80% of adult women believe that they are too fat, and try to achieve a figure that is around two sizes smaller than the body-size men find most desirable. If you are female, the odds are that you are more attractive than you think, so try flirting with some better-looking men.

Men generally tend to be less critical of their own physical appearance than women. This is partly because standards of beauty for males are much less rigid than for females, and a wider variety of shapes and features are considered attractive. But it must be said that some men are also inclined to overestimate their attractiveness. If you are a more honest male, and do not consider yourself good-looking, remember that most men lack expertise in the subtleties of social interaction, so polishing up your flirting skills could give you the edge over a more attractive rival.

2. Don't flirt with people who are unlikely to return your interest.
Even if you are not looking for a long-term mate, you will enjoy flirting more with someone who is interested in you. So it makes sense to approach people who are likely to see you as at least a possible partner, rather than those likely to dismiss you as unsuitable.

Evolution has favoured males who select young, attractive mates and females who select partners with power, wealth and status. Men therefore naturally tend to seek women who are younger than them and place greater emphasis on physical beauty, while women are more likely to favor older males with higher status and earning potential. Women also tend to prefer men who are taller than them. Analysis of thousands of personal ads – where people are more explicit about their requirements, and more obviously conscious of the requirements of others – shows that these are the qualities most frequently demanded and offered by mate-seekers.

Short, low-status males and older, less attractive females may therefore be a bit more restricted in their choice of potential partners, although there are many exceptions to this rule, and confidence and charm can outweigh apparent disadvantages.

Next. Some tips on flirting :)
Love,
ALPHA

Where To Flirt

Parties
Flirting is most socially acceptable at parties, celebrations and social occasions/functions. At some such events (e.g. Christmas/New Year parties) a degree of flirtatious behaviour is not only socially sanctioned, but almost expected.

This is because most parties, celebrations, carnivals and festivals are governed by a special code of behaviour which anthropologists call 'cultural remission' – a temporary, structured relaxation of normal social controls and restrictions.

This might just sound like a fancy way of saying 'letting your hair down', but it isn't. 'Cultural remission' does not mean abandoning all your inhibitions, letting rip and behaving exactly as you please. There are rules of behaviour at even the wildest carnival – although they may involve a complete reversal of normal, everyday social etiquette. Flirtatious behaviour which is normally frowned upon may be actively required, and prissy refusal to participate may incur disapproval.

Drinking-Places
Flirting is also socially acceptable in some public settings, usually where alcohol is served – such as bars, pubs, night-clubs, discos, wine bars, restaurants, etc. One survey showed that 27% of British couples first met their current partner in a pub, and alcohol was voted the most effective aid to flirting by respondents in the Martini Flirting Survey.

Flirting in drinking-places is, however, subject to more conditions and restrictions than at parties. In pubs, for example, the area around the bar counter is universally understood to be the 'public zone', where initiating conversation with a stranger is acceptable, whereas sitting at a table usually indicates a greater desire for privacy. Tables furthest from the bar counter are the most 'private' zones.

As a rule-of-thumb, the more food-oriented establishments or 'zones' tend to discourage flirting between strangers, while those dedicated to drinking or dancing offer more socially sanctioned flirting opportunities. Restaurants and food-oriented or 'private' zones within drinking-places are more conducive to flirting between established partners.

Learning-Places
Schools, colleges, universities and other educational establishments are hot-beds of flirting. This is largely because they are full of young single people making their first attempts at mate selection.

Learning-places are also particularly conducive to flirting because the shared lifestyle and concerns of students, and the informal atmosphere, make it easy for them to initiate conversation with each other. Simply by being students, flirting partners automatically have a great deal in common, and do not need to struggle to find topics of mutual interest.

Flirting is officially somewhat more restricted in learning-places than in drinking-places, as education is supposed to take priority over purely social concerns, but in many cases the difference is not very noticeable. Taking a course or evening class may in fact provide more opportunities for relaxed, enjoyable flirting than frequenting bars and night-clubs.

Workplace
At work, flirting is usually acceptable only in certain areas, with certain people and at specific times or occasions. There are no universal laws: each workplace or working environment has its own unwritten etiquette governing flirtatious behaviour.

In some companies, the coffee machine or cafeteria may be the unofficial 'designated flirting zones', other companies may frown on any flirting during office hours, or between managers and staff, while some may have a long-standing tradition of jokingly flirtatious morning greetings. Careful observation of colleagues is the best way to discover the unspoken flirting etiquette of your own workplace – but make sure that you are guided by the behaviour of the most highly regarded individuals in the company, not the office 'clown', 'groper' or 'bimbo'.

Participant Sports/Hobbies
Almost any participant sport or hobby can involve flirting. The level of flirtatious behaviour, however, often tends to be inversely related to the standards achieved by participants and their enthusiasm for the activity.

You will generally find a lot of flirting among incompetent tennis players, unfit swimmers, cack-handed potters, etc., but somewhat less among more proficient, serious, competitive participants in the same activities. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but before joining a team or club, it is worth trying to find out if the members have burning ambitions to play in the national championships or win prestigious awards for their handiwork. If you are mainly looking for flirting opportunities, avoid these high-flying groups, and seek out clubs full of happy, sociable under-achievers.

Spectator Events
Although they have the advantage of providing conversation topics of mutual interest, most sporting events and other spectator pastimes such as theatre or cinema are not particularly conducive to flirting, as social interaction is not the primary purpose of the occasion, and social contact may limited to a short interval or require 'missing the action'.

The most striking exception to this rule is horseracing, where all the 'action' takes place in just a few minutes, the half-hour interval between races is dedicated to sociability, and friendly interaction between strangers is actively encouraged by racecourse etiquette. In fact, our own recent research on the behaviour of racegoers indicates that the 'social micro-climate' of the racecourse makes it one of the best flirting environments in Britain.

More to Come!

Love, 

ALPHA

10 Surprising Sex Stats

Remember those pamphlets you got during awkward Sex Ed classes back in junior high that said, “Am I Normal?” and featured a frizzy-haired 13-year-old girl wearing a worried look? Inside the pamphlet were various facts and statistics about puberty and sex that did as much to ease your nerves as a trip to the mall with mom to shop for a new bra. Well, you may be older and wiser now and more comfortable in your skin, but if you’re like me, you’re still a little bit curious what constitutes “normal” between the sheets and under one’s clothes. After the jump,

9. “The average erect penis is five to seven inches long, and four to six inches in circumference.”

8. “Approximately 5 percent of 40-year-old men and between 15 to 25 percent of 65-year-old men experience erectile dysfunction.” Hmm, I guess we’re sort of lying when we tell guys, “It happens to everyone!”

7. “The average male loses his virginity at age 16.9; females average slightly older, at 17.4. And a new study shows that genetics may be a factor: inherited traits, such as impulsivity, can make a person more or less willing to have sex at an earlier age.”

6. “About one out of 10 married adults say that they typically sleep alone.” No word on where their spouses sleep…

5. “While 75 percent of men always reach orgasm during sex, only 29 percent of women report the same. In addition, most women are unable to climax through vaginal intercourse, instead needing clitoral stimulation.”

4. “Two-thirds of college students have been in a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship, citing the lack of commitment required as the main advantage to such an arrangement. More than half of those who had sex with a friend said they had engaged in all forms of sex; 22.7 percent said they had intercourse only, while 8 percent said they did everything but have intercourse.”

3. “According to a survey of adults aged 20 to 59, women have an average of four sex partners during their lifetime; men have an average of seven.” Well, we already knew that, didn’t we?

2. “Two-thirds of women who had their first baby between 2001 and 2003 worked during their pregnancy, and 80 percent of those women worked within one month or less of giving birth. Compare this to the period between 1961 and 1965, when 44 percent of women worked during their pregnancy (35 percent worked one month or less before delivering).”

1. “At least 50 percent of sexually active men and women will have a genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. HPV, or human papillomavirus, comes in both low- and high-risk forms; low-risk HPV can cause genital warts, and high-risk can cause cervical and other cancers. In 90 percent of cases, the body’s immune system will fight off the disease within two years.”

Love,
ALPHA

Sex Info 101

 One Alpha keeps on asking how to do a particular move or how to function (so to speak) in sex. It's come to the point where words are of no use and there needs to be physical visualization. Of course you don't turn to porn and it's just awkward when you have to show the moves yourself. The answer? Sex Info 101. It may be a little weird at first, but it is actually quite insightful. Not only does it provide the description, it also has moving avatar looking people that show you how its done - yeah they move!! Also, there are people's comments so you know people actually do this stuff!! What I like more about this sex information (rather than Cosmo's - sorry!) is that these positions are more realistic and well the pictures are more helpful... Sex should be done correctly and this site sure does help make it amazing. 

Happy Humping!

Love, 

ALPHA

Why Do We Flirt?

Flirting is much more than just a bit of fun: it is a universal and essential aspect of human interaction. Anthropological research shows that flirting is to be found, in some form, in all cultures and societies around the world.

Flirting is a basic instinct, part of human nature. This is not surprising: if we did not initiate contact and express interest in members of the opposite sex, we would not progress to reproduction, and the human species would become extinct.

According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilization as we know it. They argue that the large human brain – our superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguishes us from animals – is the equivalent of the peacock's tail: a courtship device evolved to attract and retain sexual partners. Our achievements in everything from art to rocket science may be merely a side-effect of the essential ability to charm.

Keep in Touch for more on Flirting!

Love, 

ALPHA

10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples

1. Pretend you just met

Spend some time each day acting as if you just started dating. Over time, couples stop asking those exploratory because they think they already understand each other. Since we all continue to change and develop, little daily check-ins like this are what keep the connection growing.

2. Limit the chick flicks

Romantic comedies can set up unreasonable expectations. They may also promote magical thinking about relationships with Hollywood endings.

3. Be the beauty to his beast

When men were married to more attractive women, they seemed more likely to step up, but when husbands were better-looking, they didn't seem as engaged in helping their wives achieve their goals. The real secret to success? Support. Couples are more likely to enjoy long-run happiness when they're invested in each other's welfare.

4. Control the boozing

Any relationship will be shaken and stirred by too much alcohol, but research suggests that young adults who drink heavily (meaning four or more drinks on one occasion for women; five or more for guys) are less likely to wed in the first place and may be at greater risk for early separation if they do. Partyers may be more likely to have commitment issues to begin with, and once they couple up their bonds may be unstable. So keep the drinking in check.

5. Hold a grudge (as long as he doesn't)

Provided that your partner is able to bounce back from spats, you'll experience greater satisfaction. Don't allow conflicts about one issue to spill over into other areas of your relationship.

6. Tweet responsibly

Avid tweeters tend to have shorter relationships than those who don't microblog. Having your eyes glued to a smartphone screen isn't exactly romantic. Be sure your tendency toward technology doesn't take up time better spent engaging in heart-to-heart communication with your guy.

7. Don't win an oscar
Sudden one-sided success can put a strain on a romantic partnership. The increased rate of divorce may be due to a husband's discomfort with his wife's success or a wife's dissatisfaction because she now has the confidence and opportunity to move away from a bad relationship. Try to remain a power couple: Encourage and celebrate each other's successes, big and small.

8. Burn bras (together)
Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality, while men with feminist partners experience more sexual satisfaction and relationship stability. It increases a woman's ability to realize her own goals and career ambitions and male feminists are probably not threatened by their partner's strivings. Plus, these women may be more likely to initiate sex, and no guy will complain about that.

9. Nurture your friend's relationships
The breakup of a close pal's marriage increases your odds of splitting by as much as 75 percent. Some people may see another's divorce as permission to change their own life but when you encourage friends to stay together (happily), you may generate reasons that also apply to your bond.

10. Twist the sheets at least once a week
The average American has sex about two or three times a month, but increasing your romps to once a week is great. It's not so much the sex itself that leads to happiness; the frequency is a better marker for a successful relationship. Couples who like each other end up in bed more often, and it's the liking-each-other part that increases joy.

Read more here

Love,
ALPHA

The Truth about Orgasms

fun facts right?

Love, 

ALPHA

8 Sexy Ways to Burn Calories

Sex—and smooching and snuggling and everything else on the spectrum—is great for your relationship and happiness, but intimate time with your sweetie is also terrific for your physical health. Not only does that “loving feeling” get your heart rate up, it can burn some serious calories, too! Check out the calorie-burning profile of each romantic activity below (based on the body weight of a 150-lb woman) along with tips from experts on ramping things up to maximize the amount of calories burned.

Kissing: 68 calories per hour

Remember how, when you were first dating, you’d start locking lips and 30 minutes later you’d come up for air? See if you can get into that groove again, say experts. Not only is smooching a great way to show affection and improve your bond as a couple, it can also help you burn fat. “If the kissing is vigorous and involves some petting, it could be even closer to 90 calories burned in an hour,” says Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of Red Hot Touch. Try her technique for turning kissing into an honest-to-goodness workout session: “Kiss in unusual positions,” she recommends. “Have the guy on his back and do ‘plank pose’ or a push-up on top of him, coming down to kiss him and then pushing back up. Push-ups burn 171 calories in 30 minutes.”
Photo by Getty.

Undressing: 8+ calories total

You probably don’t put much thought into undressing when you’re getting intimate with your husband, but an Italian researcher looked into the matter and found that the mere act of taking one’s clothes off burns about 8 to 10 calories. Even more fascinating, the researcher reportedly found that a man attempting to remove a bra with his mouth burns as many as 80 calories. While that may not be applicable to you, here’s what is: By upping the energy you put into undressing, you can burn some extra calories. Don’t just strip down in seconds, says Kinzbach; instead, “draw it out and make it part of your foreplay, while getting a great a workout going.” Or undress to tease him, adds Gilda Carle, PhD, a psychotherapist and relationship expert. “Find your favorite silk scarf, and do a seductive dance with it,” she says.
Photo by Getty.

Massaging: 80+ calories per hour

Who doesn’t like a good rubdown from their partner? But if you’re the giver, you get an additional benefit other than making your guy happy: burned calories. As it turns out, giving a good massage can get your heart rate up and kick your body into calorie-burning mode. But the way to ramp things up even more isn’t to speed things up. Instead, consider going slower, recommends Kinzbach. “This may seem counterintuitive to burning calories,” she says, “but going slower and deeper is not only more sensual, it works different muscles. I also recommend getting a massage table—it's better on your body, and standing to give a massage burns more calories.”
Photo by Shutterstock.

Having Sex: 144+ calories per half-hour

You knew sex was a workout, but who knew that a half-hour romp in the hay with your guy could burn off the chocolate you nibbled on after dinner? The key for high-calorie-burning sex is making it hot and making it last, say experts. You can also add a little moaning and sighing, says Kinzbach, which can help you burn an extra 18 to 30 calories. And try a position change for a better workout. “If you are on top, try moving your hips like a belly dancer; this feels great and will give you a workout,” she adds. “Also try a position where you squat on top of him and then bounce up and down. This is a great workout for your thighs and butt, and it can burn up to 207 calories in 30 minutes.” Perhaps the best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t. Photo by Getty.

Giving Oral Sex: 100 calories per half-hour

Here’s a stat you don’t hear every day: Being on the giving end of oral sex may be just as effective as a quick stint on the elliptical machine. But if you want to take your calorie-burning to the next level, Kinzbach recommends this calorie-blasting technique: push-ups (yes, in the act!). “Also you can do a little yoga, suggests Kinzbach. “Try plank position into downward facing dog, and back into plank where you can lower down and do some oral stimulation.” Tack on 71 extra calories blasted when you do push-ups, and 35 additional calories by mixing in some yoga.
Photo by Getty.

Using Your Hands: 100 calories per hour 

Of course, the old-fashioned hand job is a calorie burner, but you can zap an additional 50 calories per half-hour by taking things up a notch. “Get lots of stuff going at once,” suggests Kinzbach. “Try really slow sensual strokes, and position yourself so that you can use your body as well.” Rocking your body against his and varying the pressure and frequency can help, too, she adds.
Photo by Getty.

Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half-hour

A little dirty dancing—even with your clothes on—can be a workout for you and your husband. Couples who take dance lessons (and practice in the privacy of their homes) can attest to this. Bonus: “It has been shown in scientific studies that right after an aerobic exercise, women become aroused and lubricated more easily,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a New York–based psychiatrist and sex therapist. Slow dancing is fine, but you have to rev things up—and add in a few surprises—to get a real workout. “Add kissing, nibbling the neck and touch,” suggests Kinzbach. And increase the pace, too!
Photo by Getty.

Making Out: 238 calories per half-hour

A sizzling clothes-on make-out session with the man you love may be the most intense caloric blaster yet. Why? Anticipation, says Dr. Carle, can get your heart rate going. “It gives way to heavy breathing, which gives way to a great calorie burn,” she explains. But you can still maximize the workout by making it hotter and sweatier! “The hotter the room—think Bikram (a.k.a. “hot”) yoga—and the sweatier the make-out session, the more calories you burn,” adds Kinzbach. Also, try rolling around on the bed or changing your scenery. “Make it playful and erotic and you have a great combination for a pleasurable workout.”
Photo by Getty.

Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.

From Women's Day

Love, 

ALPHA

Duo Maintenant | Amazing

Love,
ALPHA

What Does Love Mean?

What does Love mean in the eyes of 4~8 year olds? 

1. When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.
rebecca- age 8

2. “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.”
billy – age 4

3. “Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.”
karl – age 5

4. “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.”
chrissy – age 6


5. “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.”
terri – age 4

6. “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.”
danny – age 7

7. “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss”
emily – age 8

8. “Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.”
bobby – age 7

9. “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,”
nikka – age 6

10. “Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.”
noelle – age 7

11. “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”
tommy – age 6

12. “During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.”
cindy – age 8

13. “My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.”
clare – age 6

14. “Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.”
elaine-age 5

15. “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.”
chris – age 7

16. “Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.”
mary ann – age 4

17. “I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.”
lauren – age 4

18. “When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” (what an image)
karen – age 7

19. “Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.”
mark – age 6

20. “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.”
jessica – age 8

21. And the final one — Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, “Nothing, I just helped him cry”

Love, 

ALPHA

Words of Wisdom

Love, 

ALPHA

French Condom Ad

Okay, a little inappropriate...

but it's so funny....and clever

hehhehe

Love, 

ALPHA

Crimewave

Crystal Castles vs. Health.

enjoy.

Love, 

ALPHA

What Your Month Of Birth Tell About You?

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very Stubborn and money cautious.

_______________________________________________

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

_________________________________

MARCH:
Attractive personality.sexy. Affectionate.Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others.
Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

_________________________________

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional.
Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

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MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong

clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift. _________________________________

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

_________________________________

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be
quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

_________________________________

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make
friends .

_________________________________

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.
Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

_________________________________

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of
what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

_________________________________

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciates praises.
High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable

_________________________________

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing
personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

*****************

Accurate? 

Love, 

ALPHA